In My Shoes

Here I am with my little munchkins on Mother's Day right before they went to bed and the day of pampering commenced.  I was served breakfast in bed from Mimi's Cafe and was showered with presents picked out by Elijah including the maxi dress I am wearing in the picture, a pair of linen and hot pink patent leather flats to match, and a nice marble looking decorative heart (that unfortunately has already been broken thanks to Noah...why I don't have any "pretties" of my own anymore).  The only not-so-nice thing about the day was that Elijah and I were sick so we just had to lie around the house trying to feel better. But it was still nice and I am extremely grateful to Jake for making it so special.

Yesterday I was in Target and I received yet another "I don't know how you do it. I don't think I'd want to be in your shoes." Maybe it was because the woman who said it had a two year old and realized just how active and argumentative they are. Maybe it's because at the time I was running back and forth in the cafe trying to get both Noah and Jonah to sit down in their chairs to eat their popcorn and Icees.  Did I have the frazzled Mom look? I'm sure I did. Sometimes I really wish I was the cool and collected mom with everything matching right down to the fingernail polish. I guess I'm kidding myself. I have only had one pedicure in my life and had a manicure twice...once for prom and once for my wedding. Wow. I got off topic. Anyway. Sometimes I get a little bit crazy and feel like a corn kernel in a hot kettle. Like soon I am going to pop. Like I did today in the parking lot at Walmart.

Here is the story.

Want to know what it's like to be in my shoes? Well, first of all, my shoes are currently wet and sticky. Sound interesting? It's not really. To start the day, I was awakened at 5am by Noah who apparently has no sense of time and does not realize it is too early to wake up. He came into bed with us because I decided I just could NOT fare yet another sleep on the makeshift foam mattress we had to move YET AGAIN because the twins cannot decide where they want to sleep (I think they just DON'T want to sleep to be honest). There he rested until 8 (praise the Lord) when the others woke up. I made them some cereal which they proceeded to dump half of on the floor which is already filthy and is something I cringe at the thought and sight off. I attempt to eat my cereal and instead end up feeding over half of it to the "me, bite, peas" children that are pulling on my arms. I throw Narnia the Voyage of the Dawn Treader in the DVD player as an attempt to TRY to get a few little things done for the day. I get a quarter of the things I wanted to. So I throw the kids shoes on and head to the glass place in town. Why? Because the Mother's Day present that I got Jake's Mom was STEPPED on by my lovely Noah (notice a pattern here?) and was broken. I got the kids out and settled in the stroller and walked in the store to find that it was a jewelry store too. Nice. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!! I then had to LEAVE my kids IN THE STORE to go in the garage to get the glass. "I'll watch them" the lady said. She did. But really? Not something I was comfortable with. Anyway. We had 20 minutes to pick it up so we went to Walmart. BIG MISTAKE!!!!

Let me tell you what it's like to have twins. Anywhere I go I have to think "where do I put my children?" Most of the time I shop at Fry's, Target and Costco. Want to know why? Because they actually have carts that are USEFUL to me. I can strap BOTH the twins in. At Fry's I get the bonus that Elijah can ride the car too. My one problem. For some reason all of the stores lately have been in the need of new straps...very irritating. You have straps to keep my kids safe. REPLACE THEM PLEASE!  Anyway. Notice that Walmart is NOT ON THE LIST. Why I decided to go there...I don't know...I must have had a  senior moment or something. Anyway. The entire time I was the mom that every mom and grandma is nervous for because her children keep standing up in the back of the cart. I had to put my items on the bottom of the cart because I didn't have anywhere else to put them. To top it off everyone was thirsty so instead of buying the Sprite that Elijah wanted, I picked up some individual Sunny Delight. Ok. I know it's not the best for them, but it's better than Sprite. I checked out and then did yet another stupid thing. Because they were hungry and I was starving (I only got half of my cereal, remember?) I decided to grab a hamburger, yogurt parfait and drink for me at the McDonalds in the store. Well, first off, they don't allow carts in there anymore. NOT convenient for me...especially since to GET the drink, I have to go through the dining area. So now I have to drag 3 children to try to get the Coke that I desperately need right now. Noah goes this way, Jonah the other. People stare. How about you stop staring and help me out?? Novel idea, I know. I finally get it all situated, get my food, open the Sunny D for the now screaming children and attempt to head to the car feeling like just crawling in a hole. I am stopped by a SECURITY GUARD asking to see my receipt. Are you freaking kidding me? I have to show you my receipt? What is this, Costco? I rummage through all the bags (it's in the last one) to get the receipt meanwhile many OTHER shoppers are just walking by. Seriously? Do I LOOK like I'm going to steal a few meager groceries and a box of diapers? Irritated I get to the car, get Jonah in, get Elijah in and go to put Noah in....put his drink on the top of the car while doing so...and the wind blows it over...all down into the car and all in my new shoes. "AAAUUUGGHHH!!!! WHY MEEEEE!" I scream at the top of my lungs in the ghetto Walmart parking lot. I then realize that my outburst probably means that I actually BELONG in the Walmart parking lot and I slink into the drivers seat quite ashamed. I quietly drive to pick up the glass. "Momma, Jonah spilled his drink" "I don't care" "Momma, Noah spilled his drink"  I am still quiet...gritting my teeth just a bit...sigh...and think to myself "how much can a momma take?"  I got the glass, got home, put the groceries away while the kids found the hamburgers and managed to throw them in the garbage. Thankfully they were still wrapped and in the bag. Fed them and have currently tried to get the twins to take a nap for the last hour. They are finally asleep...and I'm about dead. To think that I am actually on "VACATION" from work right now. Yay for me. I got absolutely nothing accomplished and at the moment I have an almost 4 year old pulling on me and telling me I don't love him because I am not currently sitting right next to him while he watches his favorite show. I never realized that motherhood was a game...one that I don't feel like I can ever win. And if you want to know what it's like to be in my shoes, just come on over any time. They are currently orange, wet, and sticky...but tomorrow is another day that will bring something new. I guess I am ok with anything so long as it's nothing with an exoskeleton like a scorpion or spider *shudder*.

Happy Anniversary to My Best Friend

Nine years ago today I married my best friend. It was a little dreary and drizzly but it was still perfect. I remember how much planning we had made for that one special day...and how quickly the day went by. I remember us on our honeymoon driving through Titusville for a yummy shrimp and lobster meal at Dixie Crossroads and discussing how the whole wedding and honeymoon just flew by...and could we do it again? It seems like when you are young you spend oodles of time dreaming about growing up and doing things. It's always "when I get bigger I'm going to,,."  As we get older we actually start planning for things, like our wedding, where we are going to live, how many kids we're going to have...even what their names are going to be. I know we haven't exactly completed all of the things we were "going to do." I mean, we haven't travelled all around the world, but we did have the opportunity to have a wonderful time in South Africa with amazing family. We don't have the perfect house, but what we have is ours (ok, outside of the mortgage) and it's been blessed with three crazy perfect little boys. Things don't always go as planned (twins sure put a spin on things) but together we have accomplished so much. Every day brings new experiences and even though sometimes I feel like I might go a little bit insane, I know that Jake is here to help keep me grounded. He loves me, helps me, and encourages me in every way that I need. I look forward to spending every day with him and look forward to living the rest of our lives together.

Jake- Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for supporting me and loving me unconditionally even when I am depressed, mean, makeup-less, and/or unloveable. Thank you for making me your sweetie and making me feel special. I love you so much and just can't wait for what is to come in our life together. Happy Anniversary my love.

Elijah Enjoying Himself

We had Elijah's yearly cardiologist appointment on Friday. For some reason they scheduled us at the PCH office instead of at our usual office. What did we find out? Well he is 40# and 40 3/4 inches. He is on a normal growth curve but his heart is not where we expected. It is still enlarged...even in comparison to his growth. Dr didn't hear the type of murmur that is indicative of TOO much flow (which makes him happy because hearing this murmur = problems). He does still have a murmur. Huge. Whopping. At least in my eyes (ears?). When you hug him you can hear it. Anyways. I actually have been looking forward to this appointment because lately (last 2 or 3 months) I have noticed him to be very tired. He falls asleep (he won't take a nap despite him needing one) and he always has bags under his eyes. What are we doing about it? Well, obviously open-heart surgery is a HUGE thing so instead we are trying some drug therapy. He is now on Lisinopril...which FREAKS ME OUT! I hate cardiac drugs (well I guess I'm ok with dopamine and dobutamine but all the crazy stuff like digoxin and such..ok..now I'm rambling like a nurse...) and I just get nervous with them. He has to have this particular drug in a solution and not all pharmacies do it so bc PCH does I opted to just get it there rather than drive home and find out nobody does it. Especially since after this they will mail it to me. Score. 

Here Elijah is in the spinning chair waiting for his meds.

Bonus? They were giving out FREE ice cream in the cafeteria (I'm guessing because of Nurses Week). Bonus for us :) Gotta love the ice cream sandwiches!

So now we hurry up and wait another 6 months to see what happens. In the meantime I get to deliberate his condition every time he gets a little tired or looks ill and worry "is it his heart?" I guess I just need to realize that ultimately God is in control and He will get Elijah through whatever he needs. 

Can we skip to age 3?

I know everyone goes through it. The TERRIBLE twos. I get it. But come on, Jake and I are SO OVER this. No. They aren't technically two...yet...but I seem to recall this happening to us with Elijah at this age as well. Sorta. Not quite on the same scale. Basically Jonah behaves the way Elijah does. He sometimes gets frustrated or throws a mini tantrum because he doesn't get his way but generally, he's a good kid. Noah on the other hand...not so much. The kid SCREAMS ALL..THE..TIME.Well, at least when we are home. At the store..not bad. At the Doctor when I want to tell him that I have a crazy nightmare child who is going to drive me absolutely bonkers ...not bad. At home...BAD! Especially when it comes to eating, playing, or sleeping..oh wait, that's all the time. He just wants me to hold him. Not JUST hold him. Walk him around while holding him. He wants me to hold him to sleep. He is driving me INSANE. I feel like a terrible mother. What did I do wrong? Why is he like this? More importantly, WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE HIM STOP?!  I will say that this has accentuated since he decided he was done with the crib and started climbing out. Did I mention before he can also climb over the baby gate? Fun times. The difficult thing is that he goes through stages where he will scream for HOURS even if I hold him. Talk about giving someone a headache. Literally. I think we need to stock up on Advil now. It is extremely hard to deal with this. I am at a loss of what to do with him. AUGH!

What kills me is that when he isn't screaming he's so stinkin' cute and loving.

Jonah's take on this? Well, today he came up to me jabbering away. Stopped. Looked at me. Pouted his lip. Fake cry. I said "Are you Noah?" Hysterical laughing and he runs away.

Oh wow. Time flies

Where have my babies gone? They have disappeared and left rambunctious and crazy toddlers in their place. It seems like only yesterday I laid them down in their Rock and Plays next to our bed. Now, they are in a big boy bed (or pull out Ikea couch as seen here). What does this mean? Constant getting up out of bed, waking each other up and little sleep for Mom and Dad. Think being awoken at 530am to hysteric giggling is fun? You can come over to MY house! I will give you toddler duty. Today I tried a new tactic. I brought the crib mattress back inside from the garage and put it under Elijah's loft bed. I put Jonah there for nap and left Noah on the couch bed. Jonah got out of bed a few times, but was easily guided back to bed and actually took a nap. Noah surprisingly slept without a peep!!!

Good ol' curly haired Noah. I'm telling you this boy is lucky he is not in the garbage can. I jest...but only slightly. Seriously. I didn't realize how GOOD of a toddler Elijah was. Noah on the other hand is...trying. He is going through this separation anxiety phase (at least I hope that's what it is! Lord help me if it's not!) All day I hear "Mama! Mama! MAMA! I have his hands wrapped around my legs, preventing my accomplishing things around the house. The little stinker is terribly jealous of any love someone else shows for me. He pushes them away. He says "My Mama". He even wiggles his little fingers in between Jake and I so that he can't give me a kiss. He glares. He fishes his lips together and gives me a big smooch and clings on to me with his legs tight around me. It's loving. It's flattering. It's a tiny bit annoying. I feel badly but I can't get the things done that are important...like make dinner and laundry. I have tried to redirect him or have him help me with projects but he is very stubborn. All I can do is hope he grows out of this. He will grow out of this...right? Please tell me yes!