Scary Day

Well, yesterday became a very scary day for me. I was making cookies for Elijah's teachers so that it counted as volunteer hours for the year when I suddenly realized I was wet but had just been to the bathroom. I won't get into too much detail but basically, I thought my water broke. So I gathered the kids and took them to Jake's mom and headed to meet Jake at his work to go to L&D. I was only 30.6 weeks so I was a bit nervous and hoping it was not actually broken. I know a lot of people can think their water has broken and I knew I would feel a bit stupid if it hadn't but I figured better safe than sorry, especially because I had started experiencing some cramping as well.
Once we got to L&D they hooked me up to the monitor and wanted to see what baby was doing for awhile before they checked to see if my water had broken. Of course, my normal uterine irritability was occurring. She asked me if I felt contractions but I will be honest, at this point, I am just uncomfortable all the time and unless they are breathtaking they are just a constant annoyance. So she ended up doing the tests and they all came back that my water had not broken. BUT because I was contracting, they were going to give me terbutaline. Now, I have had terbutaline before. I had a shot of it with the twins and then was put on it for 2 weeks prior to their delivery. I know how it makes you feel. Like a crazy person. Shaky. Heart racing. Like an albuterol inhaler x4. So she gave me the shot. I went to the bathroom. She hooked me back up to the monitor. She walked out of the room and almost immediately I started seeing some spots and feeling light headed. I told Jake I didn't feel well and my monitor started going off because my heart rate started to elevate so high. It very quickly escalated to where I felt like something was in my throat and I couldn't breathe. Jake was trying to ask me questions and I couldn't answer because I was just trying to breathe. He got the nurse and I quickly turned into a OB rapid response. I know bits and pieces because they were trying to let me know what was going on but I had closed my eyes just to focus on breathing. They seemed to think it was an anxiety attack but I finally was able to let them know I couldn't breathe because I felt like my throat was closing. I was pale and my blood pressure was low. They were super fast with getting an IV in and they gave me a whole bag of fluids and Benadryl. Once the Benadryl was in, I started to feel like my throat wasn't closing anymore, but there still seemed like there was something there. I still was having trouble breathing and so I could hear them talking about what to do. They ended up giving me some Versed and putting thick blankets on me (I was shaking uncontrollably) and the last thing I remember is them putting EKG leads on me. Once I started to wake up they monitored me for a little while longer and then I was able to go home. They told me they were writing it down as an allergy but it could have just been an anxiety attack. I completely disagree. I have had an anxiety attack before. I've even hyperventilated and passed out. This was ABSOLUTELY like nothing I have ever experienced before. I have never been so scared because I honestly could not breathe. I have had asthma attacks. I have never felt like my throat was closing on me. I thought they were going to have to intubate me. Needless to say, I never want to experience that ever again. Thankfully, baby was ok through the whole thing. Today I just feel extremely tired and sore and I feel like I went through a major asthma attack (only someone who has experienced this will understand what that means). I did talk to my OB office and they said that can be normal after such an event. So I just need to watch it, rest, and stay hydrated. Hopefully that will never happen again.

ER visit

Last week we went to the ER with Jonah. He was goofing around and clunked his head on the hard wood table. We just wanted to be sure he didn't get a concussion or something. It looked pretty bad and we figured better safe than sorry. The doctors said he looked okay and thankfully it was not any more to the right. Anything outside of the forehead causes concern, especially at the temple where the skull is very thin. We had a great experience in the ER and were not only treated swiftly, but they were extremely good with Jonah. Very pediatric sensitive. Hopefully that was our last ER visit for awhile. Oh the joys of boys.

Postpartum Depression

I just wanted to take the time to share something very near to my heart. It's a video about postpartum depression. One of the reasons that I started this blog 7 years ago was because I was suffering from postpartum depression and it helped give me an outlet. I don't think I really posted any of my feelings about the depression, but just being able to share a little bit of my life was helpful. Unfortunately, I think many people have a misconception about postpartum depression. While I knew this was true, I found it surprising that even some individuals in the OB medical realm have no idea. Just the other day I was having a discussion with a couple individuals when I found out that they both experienced postpartum depression. Imagine my dismay when their idea of postpartum depression was about two weeks of crying all the time after delivery. I wish. I'm sorry to say, that's the baby blues and that is experienced by a lot more mothers. True postpartum depression is debilitating. It makes you feel crazy. It's hard on your family. I could barely function. It wasn't just crying. It was walking around Target EVERYDAY, eating a pretzel and soda, pushing my son in the cart just wandering around because I didn't know what else to do. It was having an anxiety attack and hyperventilating when someone you love and care about dearly picks up your baby when you are in the bathroom. It's forgetting to pay bills, not remembering important events, and feeling completely lost. It's going to an amusement park and seeing everyone around you have fun and you feel like everything is just swirling around you in slow motion and you're empty. It was unimaginable thoughts of crashing your car into a side-rail because you just know that you are a terrible wife and mother and your family would be better off without you. And just maybe by doing such an unthinkable thing you would finally be rid of the terrible thoughts and feelings that are perpetually haunting you.

Unfortunately, one thing that is not discussed is that postpartum depression can actually start BEFORE delivery. It's antenatal or prenatal depression. And I'm suffering from it right now. It became pretty apparent when at just 16 weeks I was having trouble getting out of bed, snapped at everything, had anxiety attacks at the stupidest things and just would cry for no reason. I was either barely eating or gorging on junk food. It is not surprising given that I have a history of postpartum depression, had an unplanned pregnancy and was incredible sick while pregnant. Jake has been amazing and suggested that I talk to my OB about it. We are working on it and I now have great support from Jake, my OB and my counselor. One thing that people may not understand is that a mom suffering from depression actually increases risk for the baby. Studies have found that it can cause depression in the baby later in life and it can cause preterm delivery and low birth weight. Often moms with depression do not fully care for themselves and fail to eat right and take their vitamins. It's not that they don't WANT to care for themselves or baby...they just can't. Because of this, we felt it very important for me to seek help. Jake has been amazing and extremely understanding. It's very hard to be the spouse of someone going through what I am. I am really struggling with it right now. I think it's because I'm starting to realize that the baby will be coming soon and I don't feel prepared. Not only that but I'm extremely uncomfortable right now. I'm at the "everything hurts and I'm dying" phase and I am only 31 weeks.

Here's the video. It's helpful to know that other people have been in the same place and I am not alone.

Some Summertime Updates

Wow! How time flies! We are in the final countdown of days in the summer! School in only 3 weeks. I just can't believe it.

We've been pretty busy lately, although I can't exactly say where all the time has gone.

On the 4th we went to our friends' house and had a little get together with some yummy food. I brought this cake. It didn't turn out quite the way I would have liked but it still tasted good. I just added a box of vanilla pudding and 1 cup of sour cream to a vanilla cake mix and baked it in a bundt pan. I then melted cool whip and white chocolate chips and then dyed them to make the different colors. It was an alteration to a Kraft Food recipe I saw but it definitely did not LOOK the same. 

I have still been sewing up a storm. Trying to keep my mind off of how uncomfortable I am getting.

Here's another nursing necklace.

A teether.

Some bibs.

And a changing pad that folds compact for the diaper bag. I used some waterproof fabric on the back.

We took Molly to get groomed for the first time. She just got a "puppy cut" but the girl said that she did great. She went prancing around the house like she knew she was a little princess. I'm glad we can see her eyes now, although it's a bit strange to see.

We went to Chuck E Cheese's with some friends and had a lot of fun. There was a few mishaps with the food and the tickets but the manager was very apologetic (and very short staffed) so he provided us with some extra tickets to get some prizes.

Of course my kids are trying to show off their goods.

I'm still trying to find myself some good baby gear deals. Here I scored a Fisher Price baby bouncer/toddler rocker  from a yard sale for $7. They still sell it on Amazon for $50. It's in perfect shape.

The kids went to the public library for the last week of the summer reading program. They scored a free Eeggee and really nice books. We've gotten some awesome prizes including free public pool tickets, an ice cream from Culvers, a kids meal from Raising Cane's, and a nice bookmark that has a light and a timer on it. Very cool in my book.

Elijah gets a Lego Club magazine and they have a contest going on right now to win a Lego Ninjago set if they pick your Lego design. He was supposed to make a Ninjago trophy. I think he did a great job. He's pretty proud of it.

That's all for now.

Lowes Builder

Did you know that Lowes has special classes for kids? My friend, Lauren, told me that they were going to be having Avengers themed projects so I signed the boys up. Unfortunately for Noah and Jonah they were acting up beforehand and were not allowed to go. Elijah had a great time though. They gave him safety goggles and an apron to keep and a hammer to borrow. He had fun putting it together and at the end received a certificate AND a patch to iron on his apron. Super cool. We just need to remember to sign up for the next one!

Puppy pancakes

We have a great place to go to breakfast out here called Mimi's Cafe. We had been there recently for Jake's birthday and Jonah and Noah got puppy pancakes. Well, Jonah just couldn't get enough of them and asked for them the other day. He was just so sweet about it. So we got some to go and I made some eggs and turkey bacon so they could share everything. I had to take a picture so that maybe next time I make pancakes, I can make him some.

What a little cutie.

More sewing

I have been trying to keep my hands busy (to keep me off of my feet) and my mind occupied (to help me battle depression) and so I have more goodies to show off.

Here's another nursing necklace.

Here's a teether toy.

I had a lot of leftover scraps and a towel so I made some bibs.

I also had some PUL fabric in my fabric stash so I made this very basic changing pad. It's actually not padded, but I wanted something that would fold very compact into the diaper bag. Also, when it is rolled up, none of the changing pad bottom touches the area that the baby will be on...and it should (hopefully) be waterproof.

New summer pizza recipe

It's summer time and that means it is HOT here. Of course, making dinner stinks when it's 115 degrees out. I found a great recipe that can definitely be made without making the house an oven. It is for a Chicken Club pizza. The family gave it a very leary glance when I put it in front of them but it turned out to be a dinner that they asked for seconds so I think it's a keeper.

The other day I made 4 balls of pizza dough for the freezer. I grabbed one out and let it rise all day. I then baked it for 10 minutes. I'm sure you are asking how that makes this a heat free dinner. Well, the reason is that you could TOTALLY use a Boboli ready made pizza crust. The crust does not have to be warm to make this. The ingredients also include chopped chicken and bacon. Again, you can use already cooked chicken and bacon OR use the microwave. I originally saw this recipe from Kraft Foods but I tweaked it to my own liking. You can find the original recipe here http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/chicken-club-pizza-123038.aspx

My alterations were the following

-one homemade baked pizza crust on a cookie sheet

-1 tablespoon of mayonnaise

-1/2 cup of ranch dressing

-2 tablespoons of sour cream

-1 large cooked and chopped chicken breast

-8 slices of bacon cooked (could use turkey bacon as well)

-handful of romain lettuce washed, dried, and chopped

-1 diced tomato

Mix mayo, dressing and sour cream and spread onto pizza crust. Cover with toppings of chicken breast, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Enjoy. Super, super yummy. I didn't put the cheese on it...I thought it tasted fine without it. It was quickly gobbled up.