Cutie Patootie

I found these two plants at Home Depot and immediately thought of my Mom. I always remember her having Violets and Christmas cacti. I just hope I don't kill them. Any hints?

Here Elijah wants to be like Daddy. He's gotta get his big shoes on.

What can I say other than how cute are these pictures! These were taken when I found that Elijah can indeed climb on to the chairs. He thought he was Joe Cool for doing so too. He'll be sad to find out Snoopy already has that position. Don't you just love his big blue eyes? In the one picture he is giving Kitty a hug and petting her. He's very sweet with her. He just doesn't understand why sometimes she gets mad when he wants to keep petting (or should I say patting?) her and she is done with it. What can you do though. At least he's not mean to her.

Less Stress

Did you ever realize how once you are a little bit stressed, your feelings seem to escalate very quickly. I have that feeling now. It is very easy to become overwhelmed and for some reason I like to add to it. I took on a lot of projects right before the holidays and now I am wondering what I was thinking. Now I am just hoping to be able to get it all done before Christmas. Which brings me to another little tangent...what the heck? Why are we playing Christmas music the first of November? What happened to Thanksgiving???!! Seriously!

Spoken too soon

Okay, so my last post was a little premature. Later in the day I got a call from my OB/GYN saying that even though the radiologist said we could take a core sample (which by the way is NOT what he had told me) he thinks I need a second opinion to get it removed. Apparently if I don't get it out the growth needs to be monitored every 3-6 months..so..now I have to get my records, see my primary care doc, make an appointment with a surgeon and (EEK!!!!) potentially get this thing out. You would think it would be a relief to get the thing out but quite frankly I'm scared to death. Unfortunately this is not a cyst like the last time and so ignoring it will not cause it to go away with time. Yuck.

So being a little down and feeling like things are going crazy in my life I decided...what the heck...lets make things crazier....lets paint our room. We had painted it when we moved in and both of us have hated it since. Now that we have new furniture I thought it would be nice to have a room that was done the way we want it...that I could relax (or at least try to) and get away from it all. Well, I did two colors...I love one, hate the other. I will be redoing it (hopefully) today. So now I have a bazillion projects including scrapbooking stuff everywhere awaiting a home somewhere, a huge growing pile of items for a garage sale, a broken toilet, pictures waiting to be hung, drawer pulls to be put on the cabinets, a half hung door on our closet which will hopefully be traded for a pocket door sometime soon, a backyard full of weeds and dirt, two cabinets that need to be refinished/started, and an entire bedroom in complete disaray half painted, half washed, and hideous...oh yeah, and an overflowing laundry basket full of clothes to iron. Anyone want to trade. Just kidding. What was I thinking? I think I just want to get my house done. I think deep down inside I feel like if I get everything done maybe THEN it will be my time to have a baby. I guess I'm just a little bit hopeful...maybe.

Thankful Day

These past few months I feel that I have had a lot going on in my life physically and emotionally. One of my "worries" has been a questionable spot that I found a couple months ago. I had a similar thing happen about 4 years ago and it went away (I did have an ultrasound that said it was benign) so it was only slightly worrisome...at least until I went for my first mammogram today. Then I realized that I was very nervous. Praise the Lord, so far everything looks OK. From what the radiologist sees he thinks it's just a fibroid but I need to follow up with a needle aspiration of tissue to be sure it's not cancerous. I have been reading a lot in God's Word about trusting but let me tell you it is easy to say and hard to do! I have really been drawing closer to His Word and praying lately. I know it's something that one should always do but to be perfectly honest I am human and so my flesh starts out the day running to do the things I "think" are more important. Now that I have been absorbing myself in His Word I realize how important it is in my life. I have really learned a lot from the Old Testament and have received a lot of comfort from the New Testament. I am starting to do a study on trusting Him now. I have found myself sinking into a deeper depression in the past few months. It is very different from the postpartum depression that I went through though. That was terrible. No one should have to go through that! This I know is not due to hormones and such...just a little situational I think. Some of you may or may not know that Jake and I have been wanting, praying, trying for a baby for the past 9 months. I never thought that I would ever have to face the possibility that I may have trouble conceiving and let me tell you the news is quite devastating to me. I talked with my OB/GYN and from what it looks like as of now getting pregnant without the help of medication (from a medical perspective at least) is not going to happen right now. When or if it ever will be possible is up in the air as well. I have all sorts of feelings going on right now. All I want to be is pregnant. I want to rest my hands on my belly, feel little (or big!) movements, inhale the soft scent of baby clothes. I wouldn't even mind the perpetual nauseated and tired feeling..at least I can say that now. I want to give Elijah a sibling...a playmate...someone he'll always have to bug :) I am surrounded by pregnant friends. Don't get me wrong because I am SOOO happy for them. It just makes me feel SOOO sorry for myself. Which I shouldn't. I believe that God has a reason for this..I just don't know what yet. And to be quite honest it is just very hard to trust Him when your fleshly emotions get in the way. I would most definitely appreciate some prayers from you all! Not just for becoming pregnant...for being at peace with whatever the Lord's will is for my (and Jake's) life.

Enough of me. The pictures tell how busy we've been. Here is Elijah playing in the couch cushions. There also is a couple of Elijah washing his "new" used car we got from Goodwill, and us at Cabella's with a coon cap and his new "pop" gun that he loves. He's such a big ball of energy. I love him so!

My Little Man

Isn't my little man SO cute! I found this little newsboy cap when I was in Michigan and just fell in love with it. He looks a little bit mischievous don't you think? Well, quite often he is! I could just squeeze him I love him so much! Lately he has been doing this sweet little pursed lip smile that makes me just go "Awe, how cute!"

Better get going home. Just thought I'd do a quick post! Toodles!