My Heartache

I don't think that there has ever been a time where I haven't had the desire to be a mother. Ever since my first hand-me-down dolly I have desired to play the part of "little Mommy". I L-O-V-E-D to play house and always looked forward to the day I would have my own children. In fact my initial goal of becoming a pediatrician was easily changed when a conversation with my female primary care physician swayed me from the profession because it was so very hard to hard to have a "normal" family life with children. I then turned my eyes to nursing where I could still help people that were "sick" but in a slightly different way. At the time I never dreamed I would become involved in the NICU working with patients that sometimes weigh less than a sack of Big Macs. Oddly enough, the very first baby doll I remember receiving as a gift was a "preemie" Cabbage Patch Kid. Ironic, huh? Nursing has become a large part of my life. When I first started working in the NICU 10 years ago a nurse told me I would never be able to work somewhere else again. She was right...partially. While I haven't actually worked elsewhere, the only other potential areas of interest all involve the babies...labor & delivery and postpartum. Now, however, when I think of myself I don't really care to view myself as a nurse anymore. I have such a strong desire to be at home with my family that I sometimes wish I had never went to school to become a nurse in the first place. My desire goes back to when I was a child, pretending to go grocery shopping, making dinner, and caring for my "lil babies". I want to be the little domestic wife making homemade bread, using cloth diapers, and planning a slew of educational and fun activities for my boys. I see how fast my boys are growing and am sooo sad that I cannot be home to witness all of their new milestones. When I'm at work I miss hearing Jake and Elijah play cars on the floor and hearing Noah and Jonah's constant baby babbles and bubble blowing. Evening is often a difficult time as the little boys tend to be fussy and need a lot of care and Elijah wants someone's undivided attention. Our days are so jam packed from going from one baby to the other and then the toddler and the laundry and the dishes that often Jake and I just sit on the couch staring at the television after hours of who-knows-what just happened because I think quite frankly we otherwise may go insane. It is hard to find time for the two of us together...and then subtract three days. Three days that I am gone for 12 hrs not including drive time and having to sleep at off times of the day. Add to this the stress of the job itself...augh! I actually just stepped down from team leading. Too much stress in my life! I want tto just go to work and tke care of my own assignment and not always have to deal with problems. If only I could be a SAHM!

I wish I were a writer

Writing is not my forte...it never has been. This is unfortunate as I have so many things to talk about! My lack of prose usuallly leads for a listing of things happening in our life rather than a entertaining blog full of wit along with the much desired images of my darling children. I say all this because of all of the blogs posted by "real" writers who can then use their blog for monetary or product gain. What brought this up? well, recently Jake visited a blog and ended up winning the first season of a show on the History channel. How cool is that? Of course, that would mean I would have to talk about more interesting things than my life I suppose.

So what has been going on? I haven't really updated the current events so here goes.

Noah~ Just  getting over (possibly) RSV and an ear infection. Weighed 16#s and was 25 1/2 inches at 5 months (2wks ago). Has found his hands and feet and can SQUEAL at the top of his lungs with delight. He LOVES his Giraffe teether, loves the swing, and (kinda) loves cereal...and even peas! We gave him his first bite last night and I am proud to say he didn't make a face the way his big brother Elijah once did. He is (unfortunately) no longer sleeping through the night...waking up about every 3-4 hrs. This makes for a very long night for Jake when I am working.

Jonah~ Also getting over (probably) RSV and finally no longer wheezing. He weighed in at16 1/2#s  and 25 1/2inches. He also has found his hands and feet. He has upped his brother and has mastered the art of rolling all over. He loves his little Pooh Bear lovey blanket. He likes "real" food as well. Thankfully he is still sleeping through the night (9-5or6). He likes to giggle when tickled and is just a mellow and smiley baby.

Elijah~Still the crazy big brother. He comes up with the most off the wall comments and is very fun to be around. He loves playing trains, cars, and games. He's growing like a weed! He melts my heart!

That's all I have time for. More to follow...

A toddler lives here

This is what Jake found in his bag awhile back. I guess it is a sign that a toddler lives in our house {grin}. The photo for some reason makes me happy. I guess it's just thinking about having my little boy at home to hug and snuggle and play with. I am so blessed.

San Diego-Oh sooo long ago it seems

These photos were taken when we went to San Diego what seems like ions ago (October actually).

Yummy Italian Food

Yummy deserts!

We told Elijah we would bring him back a "prize". His response "I hope it's a dinosaur." Needless to say we stopped in the museum gift shop to buy him one. Thankfully they didn't make us pay admission to do so.

Here's to 7 1/2 years of marriage...surviving a 2 1/2 year old and 6 week old twins!



jake's cousin Steve and his girlfriend Stacey. He graduated from the Navy Seals that week and so we were able to visit and go out to eat yummy Mexican food and desserts



Shamrock Farms

Ok. So I am WAAAYYY behind on some postings. I had downloaded some pictures awhile back and just not written or posted anything so I thought maybe I should just go ahead and post before I get too far behind. I have a lot of current info to post so HOPEFULLY I can do that soon.

Here are some pictures of the outing at Shamrock Farms.

He had a fun time in the snow and visiting the cows. He tells us he wants to go to the farm again and is now on a kick where he asks us what time it is and then finds out what the cows would be doing now.

Ex. It's dusk. Elijah: Cows sleeping? Us: No, the cows are getting their jammies on and brushing their teeth.

It's dark: Elijah: Cows awake? Us: No, it's night-night time. Cows are sleeping.

He's just too cute!