seriously

yet another nonstress test and again the boys did well. still showing contractions but not terrible, although this time there was a lot of irritability. i am surviving but barely. my back and ribs are killing me and i have alot of trouble sleeping. this past couple days i have been getting headaches but i am wondering if its weather related. my blood pressure has gone up a little but not terribly and i still have no swelling whatsoever so i am not concerned it is preggo related.

my main somewhat vain complaint is i just popped up with stetch marks today. seriously. up till now i just had a miniscule mark on each side from elijah. grrf. i guess its bc i am now 44 inches around and measuring 42 weeks. i will be very glad when this is all over. i'm tired.

all for now.

out of the mouth of babes

kids say the craziest things. maybe they wouldn't be crazy for an adult to say but coming from a two year old they are. so what do i mean? well, last night jake went on a scorpion and snake hunt. it was almost time for bed so i just put monsters inc on for awhile. well, after a bit elijah left the living room, i assumed to get his blanket or binky. when he didn't come back right away i went to his room to find him, but he wasn't there. instead i found him in the babied room pulling all the clothes out of the drawer. i asked him just what did he think he was doing. leave me alone mom, i busy. i dooning someting was his reply. seriously? i couldn't believe it. another thing he says to us, which is not a very well received comment is when we correct, ex tell him he needs to eat his food, he points to us and says, i tell you. character i tell you. sota mica. thats his word for motorcycle. some of his favorite phrases are what dooning and where goning..meaning what are you doing and where are you going. anyway..that's all for now.

btw i hate all the lower case letters.

very hot!

another update via phone so please ignor the grammer.

today was another long day of tests and dr appts. the boys look great by ultrasound and they did not even need to be buzzed for their nonstress test. the past few days i have not had to take the terbutaline every 4 hrs during the morning bc i haven't really started contracting until the afternoon..and we won't get into the nightmare evenings/nights we have..lets just say uncomfortable is not nearly a strong enough word. poor jake..home for the crappy part. anyway..so i thoughtmornings were my good time..until the nurse hooked me up tothe nst and we saw nice little waves every 5 minutes. not irritability..contractions, but mild..and i couldn't feel them at all. i wonder what my night ones look like. anyway, now i have to take the terb every 4hrs regardless of how i feel. my cervix is now dilated to two which is good considering all the contractions i have...it makes me say really? are you sure? he cannot believe i have no swelling whatsoever. he says its unheard of. i told him i wanted the motrin back. i know i can't have it but i hate the terb. it makes me jittery, my heart races, and as if its not hot enough here itbmakes me feel like i am in a furnace.

getting discouraged

as much as i would love to carry these guys til the end i am getting sooooo tired. now that i am off the motrin i realize how much the meds hid my discomforts like back and rib pain. now i am on terbutaline which makes me jumpy. now its harder to tell when i am contracting vs having the uterine irritability. i used to be able to go by back pain and nausea but now i have back pain all the time and am nauseated bc of al the reflux. there's just not much room in there. i know i don't have much more time and am very thankful for that. i miss being able to play with elijah and doing things for myself. i know when i have them though it will be just as hard..just in a different way. i feel like i whine about things all the time now. i feel bad but it often just comes out. jake has been a great support and i feel bad that he has so much more on his plate. just a few more weeks. it's so hard to wait.

sorry for all the lower case but i just got an update on my phone so i can post now but for some reason it won't let me do upper case or exclamation points. all for now.

Scary Day

Yesterday I had a little scare with the boys. I had a nonstress test and while I was on the monitors Baby A's heart rate started dropping a little...then a lot..from 130's to 74! It stayed there for what seemed like forever to me and then started climbing back up but stayed in the 90's for awhile. I was expecting someone to come in to check on me or tell me to get on my left side but nope, nothing! Then I started second guessing myself and kind of going into a mini freak out session. Finally after over 30 minutes the nurse came in and said that it was taking longer because they had to call the doctor on call and were waiting for her to call back. She was "stuck" on what to tell me so I interjected and said "because Baby A had a decel and took awhile to recover." She was a little taken back and was like, yes, and because Baby B has only had 1 heart rate acceleration since we've put you on (which I was kind of wondering about because his strip was pretty flat looking). I kind of was wondering why she didn't try giving me juice or ice water but whatever, I'm not an L&D nurse so I can't claim to know everything. I told her I was a NICU nurse upstairs and she was like, oh, that explains why you know that. So then I had to wait for the doctor (not my doctor mind you) to call back. Finally she came back in and said that I was going for and ultrasound to get a biophysical profile. Okay, I figured that much. So then I waited an HOUR for them to get me into ultrasound(which I must say was NOT comfortable because since when are gurneys comfortable..let alone when you're pregnant..and with twins)...AND pretty much the whole time the monitors kept coming off of the babies which freaked me out because I wanted to know what baby A was doing. Well, a couple times I fixed them myself because I was so worried about it. Really, I thought they would come in to fix it but they never did..the entire time! A few of the times I got it back on his heart rate was low 100's so then I was worried he had been down for awhile. I know, I know worry, worry...but what was I supposed to do? No one was coming in, I didn't have Jake with me, and really my only concern was the babies. When I finally got to have the ultrasound I was very happy to see Ramona, my favorite ultrasound tech. She is super nice and always shows me exactly how the babies are laying and if she can get a face shot she will give me a picture in 3D. I haven't had her for awhile so I haven't had an US picture for a few weeks. I know, poor baby..hey I'm paying $15 bucks each time..I'm entitled to a picture! Anyway. The ultrasound turned out okay. They were moving enough but they wouldn't breath until their 30 minute time frame was almost up. I'm relieved about the ultrasound but I still am a little nervous now. I am a little worried about our little B baby because of him having to be buzzed during the last US and then the nonstress test I had when I was 31 weeks the nurse made the comment that the goals were increased from increases in HR from 10bpm to 15bpm and that baby B would have to step it up a bit. Now I hope he's getting the oxygen and nutrients he needs. He doesn't move nearly as much as Baby A. You know I always try to teach parents not to rely on monitors but they at least have a baby to look at...I can't see these guys. I'm not so sure I like this anymore. And why did Baby A drop his heart rate? It's not like I am in hard labor. Sigh. I'm not sure I can take 41/2 more weeks of this. I'm going to be a wreck! I have to keep telling myself to trust God but it's very hard to do! I will be glad when I can see them and hold them!