getting discouraged

as much as i would love to carry these guys til the end i am getting sooooo tired. now that i am off the motrin i realize how much the meds hid my discomforts like back and rib pain. now i am on terbutaline which makes me jumpy. now its harder to tell when i am contracting vs having the uterine irritability. i used to be able to go by back pain and nausea but now i have back pain all the time and am nauseated bc of al the reflux. there's just not much room in there. i know i don't have much more time and am very thankful for that. i miss being able to play with elijah and doing things for myself. i know when i have them though it will be just as hard..just in a different way. i feel like i whine about things all the time now. i feel bad but it often just comes out. jake has been a great support and i feel bad that he has so much more on his plate. just a few more weeks. it's so hard to wait.

sorry for all the lower case but i just got an update on my phone so i can post now but for some reason it won't let me do upper case or exclamation points. all for now.