Elijah's Birthday

It is so very hard to believe that a week ago we celebrated Elijah's first birthday. How time flies! It seems like just yesterday we brought home this tiny (though it didn't seem like it at the time to me!) little bundle of joy, eager to care for his every need and clinging on to each and every milestone that he reached on his journey to adulthood. There have been so many happy and exciting moments..first bath, smiling and cooing, sitting up, rolling over, first foods. I am a little bit saddened that I wasn't the first person to see him walk or clap or say some words. I guess that's what happens when you are a working mom. I guess dads get that all the time so I should just be thankful for what I am able to see. I never expected to go through quite so much emotional turmoil in a year. Turmoil sounds terrible doesn't it? Maybe it's not the right word to use but it sure felt like it for the first 6 or 7 months or so. I have to admit that what I went through gave me serious doubts at to whether I wanted to have more kids or not. The emotional battles just were so great they seemed unbearable. Thankfully I have a great support system and have survived. I have learned that I can't be WonderMom..and that even if it seems like other moms are WonderMoms...they probably aren't. Sure, a select few are but in all honesty what child truly doesn't throw up all over their (or your) clothes when you're late for something, cause your house to be in disarray, your shirt to be covered in "boogies" when they are upset or have a cold, or cause some sort of unforseen problem or setback when you least expect it. I never could have imagined that having a child would cause me to never have a clean house, be completely disorganized and forgetful, wear snotty shirts, forget to brush my teeth or put on deoderant, not have time for a shower, or seriously debate to what degree of dirty floor can a very mobile and quick child eat off of. I also never could have imagined how it would feel to brag to friends about my beautiful baby boy and how he is doing...about how it feels to have him put his little arms around me and give me a big squeeze and plant a big open mouth and slobbery kiss on my welcoming face...how I love to hear his squeal of delight and laughter when he gets a ride on Daddy's shoulders or hears Momma at the door...to see his face light up with every new discovery. It truly is amazing how a child changes us. What a wonderful blessing! I have to say I have been a little saddened lately and I think it's because of how fast the time has gone but I will say I am looking forward to every moment that I have to spend with my special little buddy.

How was his birthday you may ask? Well, unfortunately he was not feeling well at all. He had been sick all week..first with a fever then diarrhea...so he was a bit crabby. I didn't really want to give him cake so I made him a muffin and put cream cheese frosting on it. He didn't eat it but did lick some of the frosting. He was very cute because he kept putting his face down to it instead of picking it up and bringing it to his mouth...he looked like a little piggy going to the trough. He also was not very interested in opening his presents. Poor little guy! Who doesn't like presents? Sunday was a little better and he had a cake at GaGa's and PaPa's. Maybe next year will be better...let's hope so!